Disrupted

Today I sit at the table of my breakfast nook in my new home on the west coast.  The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, flowers are blooming outside the big bay window that overlooks my back patio.

It sounds lovely doesn’t it?

That is a typical morning here in my new world.

But nothing feels typical about it yet.  While I’m here my husband is back in Nashville selling, purging and packing our home as he prepares to join me.

It’s been 11 weeks since I left.  11 weeks of living with just a few furnishings here.  11 weeks of living apart from my husband and Mick… don’t forget Mick, the border collie, who is more child than pet.  It will still be several more weeks before Merlyn, Mick and a truckload of our stuff arrives, but at least the end is in sight.

Or is it?

I like to believe that once they get here, everything will feel normal.  But there really is no normal anymore.

Everything is disrupted.  Family, friends, home, routine, sense of purpose… all of it.

But don’t misunderstand… it’s not all bad.  In fact, most of it’s been really good.  It’s just stretching and different.

In one week, our dream home will be sold.  I expected to live there for 20+ years.  I assumed we’d host parties, throw showers and entertain friends for years to come.

Disrupted.

I was reading this morning N.T. Wright’s thoughts on Mark chapter 1 when Jesus called the disciples to follow him.  Wright described how significant it was for the disciples to leave behind their way of life.  It was counter-cultural to leave family or change career.

Wright explains,

“Jesus was now calling them to trust the good news that their God was doing something new.  To get in on the act, they had to cut loose from other ties and trust him and his message.  That wasn’t easy then and isn’t easy now.  But it’s what Peter, Andrew, James and John did, and it’s what all Christians are called to do today, tomorrow, and on into God’s future.”

Disrupted.

Let me be clear… Nothing about my current disruption is comfortable.  I don’t share because I believe I deserve a pat on the back. Quite the contrary.  Most days I’m embarrassed by how hard it is to let go of what is known and comfortable and to trust that God’s calling is greater than my plans could ever be.

But each day I’m learning to be more comfortable with disrupted.

God says “come” and the only reasonable response is to follow.