They Don’t Always Like Me
Another “grey leadership” example…
This week I had to say some tough stuff to our leadership team. I don’t usually “bring the hammer down” with our staff, but this week was one of those weeks when I felt like there was no better way to address my concerns than to say some tough things.
I’m a firm believer in the axiom “what gets rewarded gets repeated” and I would submit that as much as 90% of the time this IS the best way to lead and motivate your team, however I also believe that there are moments – that 10% – when a tough reprimand is in order. That’s what makes this such a “grey leadership” issue. When do you know you’re in the 10%? Who’s to say your not just having a bad day? Maybe the issue or concern is not that dramatic?
Here’s how I process to determine whether it’s 10% time:
- Journal my frustration/the issue
- Talk it through with my husband or my boss
- Talk it through out loud so that I can hear how I sound delivering the reprimand
- Pray – pray for discernment, wisdom, patience and direction
- Then, if I still feel as frustrated/concerned/passionate, it’s most likely time to say it
And let me just say, I HATE IT! I absolutely agonize over those times when I have to look my team in the eye and say some tough stuff. I hate that when we walk out of that room, they probably are not really happy with me. I hate that sometimes I have to be ok with that. They will not always like what I have to say, but it’s my responsibility to lead and motivate our team effectively… and sometimes that means saying the tough stuff. It’s just part of leadership.
How do you deal with saying the tough stuff?