Yesterday was a crazy day at Cross Point. Because of some technical drama I wasn’t able to adequately capture notes from Justin’s message, so Trish Davis one of my dear friends who also happens to be Justin’s wife, was gracious enough to be our guest post for this week’s Sunday Highlights. Thank You Trish!!
Pursuing a Healthy Family by Justin Davis
It’s humbling beyond words to write today’s Sunday’s highlights Justin Davis is the Bellevue campus Pastor (and my husband). Justin and I have had to painfully stumble into understanding the dysfunction of the families we grew-up in and how that dysfunction spilled over into our marriage. Justin spoke candidly about the mess-ups and the lessons we have learned along the way. I hope these highlights will be an encouraging starting point regardless if you’re single, married or single again. I pray for your journey of becoming a healthier person in hopes to becoming a healthier family!
We don’t get to choose the family we are a part of, but we do get to choose who we become in the context of our family.
1. A Healthy Family Loves Deeply.
Loving deeply in a healthy family is love that is expressed no matter what. Deep love celebrates the uniqueness of each person
How does your family do in loving deeply?
2. A Healthy Family Forgives Unconditionally.
In some families, forgiveness is conditional. Forgiveness is offered only under certain conditions. 1 Corinthians 13 says, “Love Keep s no record of wrongs.” Jesus said it like this “He who has been forgiven of much, loves much.” When you forgive, love grows. When love grows, mistakes aren’t as big.
How does your family do at forgiving unconditionally?
3. A Healthy Family Creates Traditions
Donald Miller says in his book “A million Miles in a Thousand Years”: “I like those scenes in the Bible where God stops people and asks them to build an altar. You’d think He was making them do that for Himself, but I don’t think God really gets much from looking at a pile of rocks. Instead, I think God wanted his people to build altars for their sake, something that would help them remember, something they could look back on and remember the time when they were rescued, or they were given grace.” God knew that as people we live life more fully through the remembrance of traditions.
How well does your family do at creating traditions?
4. A Healthy Family Pursues Authenticity.
A healthy family isn’t where you’re loved because you are perfect…it’s where you are loved in spite of your imperfections. The mercy you long for is found on the other side of confession… grace is found on the other side of authenticity.
How well does your family pursue authenticity?
5. A Healthy Family Speaks Truth, in love.
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. As you and I share truth with others in love, a transformation takes place in our hearts and we become more and more like Christ.
How does your family do at speaking truth in love?
6. A Healthy Family Gives Generously.
Proverbs 21:26 Some people are always greedy for more, but the godly love to give! A family who gives generously lives with the priorities of God in mind.
How healthy is your family in the area of giving?
So how do you start this journey of becoming a healthy family?
1. Be Intentional
The quality of your family’s health will be determined by the decisions you make intentionally, not the ones you let be made for you. You will not drift into health. We don’t drift into a great family…we make little decisions each day that added together become a sum greater than their parts.
2. Be Accountable
Accountability is the pathway to humility. Humility is the currency of healthy families.
3. Be Committed
Pursuing a healthy family isn’t for the faint of heart. Most of us are going to have to go back to some dark places. But what you will have on the other side of that is the family you’ve always pretended to have.
When you pursue being a healthy family, you allow the church to become more of the family God has in mind. As you love deeper, we love deeper. As you forgive unconditionally, we become more of a place of grace and mercy. As you establish traditions, we become a people of shared values. As you create a culture of authenticity in your family, we become a place where nobody is perfect, but everyone is welcome.