The Leadership of Letting Go
I find myself processing a lot what I call the “grey” issues of leadership… the answers and decisions that are not so easy to figure out. (I think that’s why they call it leadership, right?)
As Cross Point has grown, one of the big grey areas for me is the leadership of letting go. I have a tendency to be a very hands-on, in-the-details leader – ok, I’ll just come out and say it… I can be a micro-manager.
I don’t mean to be. Truly. But I’m horribly wired to see details. I see the direction we need to go and then I can – in a matter of seconds – rattle off every minute detail that needs to take place to get us from point A to point B. Frankly, I wish I didn’t think this way. Ignorance seems like bliss, but I just can’t seem to ignore details.
As Cross Point has grown, it has stretched me tremendously. If I weren’t learning to let go, you would have probably found me somewhere in a corner curled up in the fetal position a very long time ago.
To be a leader of a growing organization you have to learn the leadership of letting go – the leadership of trust – the leadership of empowerment.
Cross Point Bellevue became a case study in this lesson for me. There was simply too much going on for me to know all the details. I had no choice but to trust, and thankfully we have amazing team that helps make that a bit easier.
I had to learn to know the “right” things and then I had to trust our team to handle the rest.
Was everything done exactly as I would have done it? Probably not
Were there some surprises? Sure
Did the campus launch extremely well? A resounding YES
Here are some things that I didn’t know until the campus opened:
- Who our volunteer leaders were for each ministry area
- What color the classrooms were going to be
- What our furniture looked like
- How the office was going to be set up
- How many volunteers were signed up to serve the first day
- If the toilet paper was stocked, if the coffee was brewing, if there were trash cans in the building
These are just a few… and I’m sure there are many more things that I don’t even know that I don’t know. I also know that I didn’t lead through this without my share of mistakes. I leaned in too heavily in some areas and was unnecessarily absent in others.
But, what I’m discovering is that every leadership journey and experience will be different and I have to choose to listen and find a way to grow in the middle of it… and discern what to let go of.
How about you? What have you learned to let go of in your leadership growth?
Jenni,
I didn't realize how much I try to micro-manage my family until I left for Iraq. I have no idea what the little details of life are at home right now, and at first it drove me NUTS! Fortunately for me though, I have a wife who is full of grace and a God who can take care of the little things. Kendra does keep me informed about things very well, but I've had to learn to let go and trust that even though things may get done differently than I might have done them, that they got done, and God is in control not me. It has been a very valuable lesson for me as the leader of my family, and one I hope I do not forget when I get home and am immersed in the day to day where I can see and have influence over the little things.
Jonathan, I can't even imagine how difficult it is for you to let go of some of the things you naturally would do if you were here. Your family is amazing! Thank you for serving our country. I'm grateful!
Great list. I've recently realized that leadership is like being a conductor of an orchestra. The conductor does not play all the instruments – they initiate the right instruments playing at the right time. Conductors have the right musician with the right music so that the right parts are played, producing an amazing score. If my team has the right people with the right parts, we will accomplish what God wants – without me "playing all the instruments." That in itself is a solo. GREAT POST!
Love that analogy, Josh!
Jenni, I've been on both sides of this. I've had to learn to let go and I've served under leaders that let go well and those that really did not. There is a sense of pride that comes from being trusted to do your job well. I think that there is also a feeling of "why bother" that comes when people micro-manage you. Why should I work hard when someone else is just going to change it all?When my ideas are ultimately not going to matter? When my work will just be chopped up? As you might can tell, I don't work well at all under micro-managers. (and I've worked for two) IT makes me feel unneeded and yes, completely powerless and paralyzed. There is no room to dream, or even to try something new and fail. You become simply a tool to execute, which can feel dehumanizing. (Particularly if you have the gift of leadership)
As a leader that trains leaders, however, I've had to learn to let people be themselves. And I'm always amazed at how they bring something to the table that I could not. That's been the most humbling experience of all – to see how those I lead are better at most things than I am. When I set them free, they bring their heart to the task and influence is multiplied, and they GROW and FLOURISH.
Thanks for adding your thoughts and wisdom, Jan!
Jenni,
I didn't realize how much I try to micro-manage my family until I left for Iraq. I have no idea what the little details of life are at home right now, and at first it drove me NUTS! Fortunately for me though, I have a wife who is full of grace and a God who can take care of the little things. Kendra does keep me informed about things very well, but I've had to learn to let go and trust that even though things may get done differently than I might have done them, that they got done, and God is in control not me. It has been a very valuable lesson for me as the leader of my family, and one I hope I do not forget when I get home and am immersed in the day to day where I can see and have influence over the little things.
Great post! Love you i know its hard to let go but when you do then you can work on other things you love more. 🙂 Like me 🙂
I like how you think, sis 🙂
love your honesty in this post! this is something i struggle with alot, and i feel i have learned to let go more in my work environment, but at home it's still a struggle especially with my kids. Thanks for the reminder of how important it is to let go… CC